This Floating Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the Television Disappointments of the Past Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the TV landscape of the recent year, a selection of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. From awkward spin-offs to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with woeful scripts, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final season began, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the final series. It concluded on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too symbolic. Still, viewers undeniably found joy dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the smallest of this drama's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the problems. The laughably leaden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and materialism? The seemingly wilful procession of tropes? Acting so poor they felt almost malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the restraining orders, abuse allegations and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d truly have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while failing to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but flippant egotist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

MobLand

Dodgy characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just really dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are forced to admit that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine come to life; a meme for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to explore them. Rather, the experience was like reading a sales catalogue. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.

Too Much

How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity cameos involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lumbering from oddly jaunty, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and eliminating – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for sexual escapades as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.